m_ike | Half-punchlines: only the first half of the punchline is ever given, to avoid speaking profanity

What's the difference between a chiropodist and a bad drummer? Well, the chiropodist bucks up the feet...

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer? One of them clucks defiance...

What's the difference between a baby and a high-school choir director? The baby sucks his fingers...

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? The pickpocket snatches watches...

What's the difference between Barnum & Bailey's Circus and a line of Playboy bunnies? The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul...

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? A goldfish mucks around a fountain...